Welcome to my world of maddening mental illnesses. Here, you’ll read about what it’s like to navigate life under the influence of multiple mental illnesses. By taking the biggest leap of my life — going public — my greatest hope is that others who share similar experiences find some comfort here. If you’re fortunate enough to live life with a balanced brain, take some time to learn about the millions of us who don’t have that opportunity.

To those of you who live like me: You’re not alone.

My name is Lauren, and I’m just trying to make it through the day.

On my good days, I’m an avid photographer, painter, writer, and nature fanatic. I’m a great partner and stepmother. I feel as though I can take on the world, and my level of productivity is sky high.

However, these days are often few and far between. On my bad days, I can’t get out of bed. I cry until I can’t breathe. I worry that I just can’t do it anymore. That I’ve failed at life. I push people away when I actually need more support than ever, and I struggle to hang on when they leave. This life isn’t easy; it’s even harder to go it alone. My past is full of fickle relationships, traumas, and ridiculous amounts of time spent overanalyzing everything. My one constant is my mind. My war zone.